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Keith1971

嗨，林恩,

I've only had this disease for a year but I think I've already reached the acceptance stage, all the other stages just waste too much precious energy & are too negative to get bogged down in - I believe that a positive fighter outlook is an essential part of battling the disease. It's all too easy to get dragged down by the other stages & that helps no-one. We have one life to live.

x

barbara12

嗨，林恩and keith
I have not got that far yet....I so wish I could except it...but I do battle with arhtur everyday.....and guess who wins... :roll: not me......I might try the shoe thing and see how it goes..
Love
barbara x

jayneys

不，否，没有没有得到接受，希望我能使我和我的家人变得更加轻松。说这还不错，我认为接受是好的，您可以重新开始生活。Asyou可能已经猜到没有被诊断出来了，已经到了舞台上iv iv看着这双鞋，但就IV而言，Mybe下周 。最好的杰恩xxx

Keith1971

林恩（Lynn），每个人都肯定有糟糕的日子，但是我是一个有一个漂亮的小男孩的已婚男人，我的生活不仅仅是患有关节炎。相信我，我度过了一个愉快的一周左右的哭泣和担心未来，但是一旦我接受了它，我就已经开始感觉好些了。

Now I'm committed to staying as fit & as healthy as possible through the right medication, diet & positive thinking. My body may have other ideas about all of this but I'm extremely determined to not be defined by an illness.

x

克里斯7

Oh Lynnie :sad:

I am still battling my shoe moment with a passion. Gave the walking boots away to my niece years ago, but I can't bear to part with some of my hardly worn shoes and lovely boots just yet, even though it is doubtful I can ever wear them again! So I guess I am not there yet! :???

去年去参加婚礼，并决心戴高跟鞋几个小时，尽管我不可避免地回报了牙齿。不过，我确实在我豪华的连衣裙和培训师的路上看着景象。：哈哈

令人沮丧的是，这种事情常常与他人无关紧要会激起这样的情绪，但是在这里看的人都会有一个故事要讲，并且会了解您的感受。我最悲伤的日子之一是，我最小的侄女愿意让我骑她的新自行车，突然击中了我，就像一块砖头一样，我没有机会上台！

Guess for me and some others here, the limitations and acceptances sneak up so slowly we have more time to get used to them but for others
它如此艰难，速度如此之快，尤其残酷，难以应对。

I will be interested to see how others feel on this. You hang in there love and know that someone will enjoy your lovely shoes.
Gentle hugs ((( )))
Chris

tillytop

Oh Lynn - "shoe moment" is such a good way of putting it!

It was not long ago that I finally got rid of my remaining pairs of nice shoes (even though I hadn't been able to wear any of them for years) and, until I read your post, I hadn't really thought about it as the moment of acceptance - but looking back, I think it was. Certainly, after nearly 16 years on the RA road, I think I have finally accepted that RA is part of who I am (but oh I still mourn for those pretty shoes).

Tilly xxx

PS：您是否又将您的慈善袋中带出了？

Scarlet

嗨，林恩

一个有趣的话题。我想我还没有达到ed acceptance, because I keep fooling myself and buying inappropriate shoes, then I come to the realisation that I can't wear them and have to take them back to the shop. Which makes me angry haha.

I actually have a wedding to go to next month, and I bought a gorgeous dress, but it really demands a nice pair of heels to go with it, so I will probably end up taking the dress back :-(

Anyway, back to your original point!! I guess it is possible to reach acceptance, or maybe its more about compromise? In a sort of 'I'm determined to make the most of my life and go to uni and get my degree etc etc but I also have to face facts - I will always have to ask the boyfriend to open a jar or grate the cheese for me'. I guess its about aspiring to do what you want whilst also accepting your limitations.

I am 100% more positive about things now, compared to when I was first diagnosed, but I'm only 26 and there are bound to be things down the line which are going to throw up issues. One day I am going to want to have children, and I'm not sure how my body will cope with pregnancy, how I would cope with a child - so while I feel fairly positive about things now, that could all change one day. I guess we just have to cross those bridges when we come to them.

Jayne I hope you are ok, this really is a fabulous forum full of people who are only too happy to lend an ear (or that should be eyes?!) if you are struggling x

caterina57

Hi
Very interesting - I have always been a bag and shoe person - today I have been out with my sister, changed handbags and went to get the shoes I bought to go with it and realised that there was no way I could wear them, as I think about it now most of the shoes I have I dont wear, because they kill me. During the winter I have worn one pair of shoes and one pair of boots that have been comfortable. Now the better weather is here I have two pair of sandles that are comfy. I dont know if I can put all my nice shoes in the charity bag just yet!
Cath

80squeen

阅读其他人的想法是有趣而安慰的。我以为我终于接受了东西，但是h：roll：ave意识到我真的没有，想到一件事的想法在那一刻很沮丧 - 你觉得你把事情整理好了，然后另一件事又抬起了它的丑陋的头！我渴望像你们中的某些人一样积极：绿色！

Madwestie

Lynn, i have sort of accepted the Ra but only in so far that i have to do the same thigns i used to in a dofferent way I really hate to give things up, inspite of tons of meds that are supposed to make you drowsy i am learning a new job at work, and as for the Shoes well i am sorry but i don't think i will ever get rid of the fancy ones even if they are older than me which could happen soon and they look like they are unworn, i can't bear to part with them...oh i have a lovely pair of green velvet ones with netting bows on the front they look like they are straight out of gone with the wind impossibly high heels but so nice to look at..never likely to be worn again perhaps i should frame them

特蕾西

tkachev

I haven't reached that stage either, I still have most things from the pre R.A days and certainly have kept my shoes which I no longer wear,

E x

pherstun

我完全同意“悲伤”过程 - 经历了丧亲之后，当我想到亚瑟（Arthur）的感觉，这就是我的感觉，而失去的事情。我可以应付疼痛和不适，以及失去流动性 - 让我最大的事情是看到女人穿着华丽的鞋子走来走去，知道我不能穿它们。

I have never been able to wear really high heels, I do though like wearing shoes with a low heel, up to around an inch. I haven't been able to wear anything but shoes with a very slight heel and thick soles for over a year now since I set off arthur in my foot from a pair of walking boots of all things! These days I need to have shoes that support and cushion my feet, I can't wear thin soled or very flexible shoes.

I also haven't yet got to the point of getting rid of shoes I can't wear, because I hope that I will some time be able to wear them again. As I sit here typing this I am looking at a couple of pairs longingly as they are in my line of sight in the shoe rack.

I can walk round the office with kind of sensible yet nice shoes, still nothing thin soled or that dig into the joints of my big toe, but have to wear good quality walking boots outdoors.

These days in the office when I'm wearing trousers I wear mens Doc Martens, one pair of which is better on my ankles than the other (not sure why that is...), and for summer I have Roma style Fitflops, the black pair of which I have put some elastic round the front and clip on different hair decorations depending on what I'm wearing on the day. Makes them look less dowdy!

I have a pair of Ecco shoes that used to be very comfortable but I just can't walk in them any more.

通常我不能穿平底鞋，部分原因是矫形器，这意味着公寓感到我倒退了！，但是去年我得到了一对可爱的Skecher，那时很舒服，但是现在我走了几步之外每一个脚踝都不会刺伤疼痛。

I managed to wear my high leg low heeled boots round the office yesterday but my ankle was playing up towards the end of the day and I had to change to my ever comfy Fitflop sandals.

Ah well, the shop for pretty yet comfy shoes continues - if they exist!

Debbie

border

I hav a lovely pair of brand new pair of dressy mule type shoes, they are still in their box! I know deep down I will never wear them, but am very relucant to throw them out. Like others .... I might wear them one day :!:

suzygirl

真的很有趣的线程。我发现鞋子非常想念，我曾经爱过鞋子！除了一双外，我已经摆脱了所有的高跟鞋，因为我的脚肿了，所以我再也无法安装了。

我也想念行李，也不能携带一个袋子。我讨厌你年纪大的鞋子的方式。

我发现我一直在经历不同情绪的循环，我想我已经接受了其他事情。我发现我厌倦了自己的生活已经改变了多大的困难。没有人真正理解和孤独。我的一部分也觉得我也不想“屈服”。

Thanks for starting this thread.

remixmum

接受的东西，亚瑟会拖着我踢脚并从高跟鞋上尖叫

Not really, though my feet were very swollen till my steroid inj last week, I am usually in comfy shoes (even before arthur).

I need to wear a frock at the weekend tho, and you cant wear trainers with a dress, so the plan is comfy shoes in the car, posh ones on when we get there and sit down for most of the evening.

如果需要的话，我会把我的舒适的鞋子换成以后。

This is the plan, it will probably go t*ts up like most of my plans, but worth a try

skezier

嗨，林恩,

我认为在一个层面上，我将永远接受，我会继续挑战它，这是我所知道的唯一方法，它实际上已经带给了我很长的路要走。

Rumo告诉我，我确实在头脑中接受它，但在生活方式中不接受，但我不能放弃。

Hey you comfortable shoes... Frankie's boots

Its hard to ditch stuff and realise you will never be able to use them again, shoes i dont know now a days but i did as a teenager and it hurt....

您继续前进，因为您知道自己已经走了很长一段路，并且在接受部门中做得很好。

frogmorton

林恩（Lynn）的好线（您在那里做得很好）

i dont think l have reached acceptance at all

remain firmly in denial

To be honest l think l have accepted , but every now and then l have a bawly moment and hop right back to stage one or two of MY greiving!!!

The problem is how arhtur sometimes lets you off the hook and you can almost forget it....for a bit!!!

基斯然而l同意你无论to happen is whether l bawl or not so keeping fit eating healthily and making happy memories for me and my girls is what l do.

All those shoes....l still have mine :???: Lucy 'borrows' them

Love

Toni xx

fudge

Hello Collywobble ( love the name) about this acceptance - made me think, is it just sit down with chin on hand and watch all the things in life we once took for granted form a queue - or is it a stoic chin up there are lots of other things in life I can still do :?:

经过多年的OA - 从很小的时候开始，我现在回顾了我所接受的所有事情，而排队越来越短：roll ：：！：

I put up a good fight - resisted the urge to look back longingly with an ' if only ' sigh and kept meeting the next challenge head on. My self confidence got lost some where back there, I think I should have chosen the user name ' dither ' 无论如何，现在回头看，在雨中外出仍然是安全的 - 我没有变成盐的支柱 - 我只是僵硬地走路：！::：！

..........fudge..........

suzygirl

Collywobble, (((hugs))) to you. It is a very emotive subject.

我同意托尼的观点，我专注于为男孩们留下美好的回忆。我们所有人都“继续下去”，但是最好与理解的人分享斗争。

Personally, the thread has helped as I am finding it all rather hard at the moment. I started off positive, but I am 4 and a 1/2 years down the line with a whole string of ailments and meds with side effects and finding the whole thing rather wearing. I used to be so healthy and am now housebound a lot of the time. So thanks to all who shared their experiences as it is so helpful to see how others feel and cope.

One day at a time!!!

Keith1971

抱歉，如果我遇到不敏感的话，我根本不是我的意图。

Just as this disease affects us all differently, I guess we all have our own emotional responses and ways of coping mentally.

X

lindalegs

嗨，林恩,

I knew I'd come to terms with having arthur around when I started to dream arthritically. Whenever I dream now I can't run anymore, need help dressing/undressing (though that can be quite interesting depending on who's giving you a hand) or undoing a bottle of pop and I'm dying of thirst .............just like real life. :roll:

suzygirl

Keith, I hope you didn't post that because of my response!! I didn't think you were insensitive at all.

I was just saying that I used to have a really positive attitude, and still have largely, its just you get so tired of dealing it, it kind of grinds you down. I really hope your ways of coping are effective and that you never experience that stage. My apologies if I phrased things badly, it was never my intention.

woodbon

Hi, I think you've had an 'acceptance day' I get those sometimes they last for weeks, but then I have an angry day or an optimistic day and go out and buy something I hope I'll be able to get on with. Shoes, something with buttons that are small and close together. For me it's never settled down, I have OA of multipule joints, maybe not the same as RA, but we have a lot in common, I think.
I've still got my wedding shoes and dress, neither fit me now and the shoes I could'nt walk in if they did! Love Sue

Madwestie

林恩（Lynn）阅读了我有重新思考的所有帖子，尽管我以为/认为我有一些要求，但我想知道我是否有。
I still do to much all the time, my body says slow down and i think no just get on with it. my friends say i don't know how you do all the things you do with your RA and my answer would be neither do I. The rheumy nurse is always telling me to slow down and not take on too much.
But i know that i can't handle anything hot so always call hubby to take pans off the stove and i don't wear high heels,i do use my crutch all the time outdoors.
So i think i have accepted what i need to, figured out what i want to do and thumbed my nose at the OA/Ra to get on with my life while i can.

thank you for setting up this post it has really made me think

特蕾西
ps i am still not getting rid of my high heels

border

At the risk of sounding too acaemic, I always remember Elizabeth Kubler-Ross's stages of anger to acceptance and the linear form it was presented in. However any form of 'bereavement' is not linear - one day I think I've cracked it and do what I would normally and next day I suffer. I suspect the denial-acceptance process goes on throughout life and effects everything, whether it is shoes or trying to act and live as pre arthur days. I don't know, but for me to cope with arthur, a good dose of reflective realism i.e. pacing and coming to terms with it is a continual thing, not a once and for all effort.
I hope this is not to preachy, I think I take refuge in words at times. :!:

dreamdaisy

我所有漂亮的鞋子,当我reali开除sed that I would never wear it again - I couldn't see the point in keeping something that hurts on so many levels. Handbags are sort-of going the same way, rucksacks are more comfortable in some respects and awkward in others, it all depends on how the day is tuning out.

When I aquire a scooter and/or a chair - and that day will come - then it may well be time to buy a pair of something pretty and feminine and delicate 'cos walking won't be on the cards. Thus the shoes will be a fillip to morale, not a lead weight on my emotions, a reminder of what used to be.

For the most part I am not bothered that I have arthritis: health was always for other people and it's no big deal. Yes I am peeved at the moment that this pestilence has sprung another version of itself on me but hey-ho, it matters not, not really. As my mother helpfully pointed out to me 'You already have arthritis, so what's the problem?' It isn't acceptance that's the problem, it's adjusting, the gradual erosion of abilities. I just want to know where I am with it all - and I suspect I will never find out. DD